Today I did something wild. I was so upset about something that I started to ugly cry—a lot. I don’t get mad easily, but when I do, I get extremely frustrated and end up crying.

I haven’t been to Trader Joe’s in over a month. I keep putting it off. But today, I was finally going to go… and then my tears almost stopped me.

Then I remembered: why should I feel bad about making other people uncomfortable with my feelings? I’ve suppressed my emotions for so long that sometimes it feels unnatural to intensely feel anything.

So, I decided to go to Trader Joe’s.

When I got there, I was still crying and almost turned around to come back another day. But nope! I decided I’m embracing this. I grabbed my headphones and popped on “This Is Me Trying” by Taylor Swift—because this is me trying. And I’m trying super duper hard. But you wouldn’t even know that this is me trying.

I got out of my car and made eye contact with a dad and his kid. He was visibly uncomfortable because I was crying. I felt super weird about it—and honestly, I would’ve felt the same way if I were him. It’s such a weird world we live in, where seeing someone cry makes us uncomfortable instead of making us recognize their humanity and meet them with empathy.

I walk in and grab a basket. There are employees everywhere. I’m still crying (silently, but sniffling), trying to get it together and avoid eye contact at all costs. I’ve got my headphones in, so I can’t hear anything, but I’m noticing I’m getting a few looks.

Eventually, I start worrying that I’ll make the cashier uncomfortable at checkout—because everyone knows Trader Joe’s employees love to make conversation. So naturally, I wiped my tears, took out my headphones, and said,“Yes, I’m doing great! How are you?”