I’m at the airport and I have questions!!!

• Who decides if the women’s restroom is the first or second you see? Because if I just got off a plane you already know I have to go to the bathroom and often times I pass the men’s restroom before finding the women’s. This doesn’t just apply to the airport this is a problem EVERYWHERE!
• Why do y’all trick people into throwing out my plastic water bottle bc it was water in it rather than keeping it to refill? (this happened to the man behind me in the TSA line)
• Why do people walk so slowly? I’m a fast walker by nature but in the airport, I become a different person. I will swerve around everyone because I simply cannot walk behind a slow person. Am I in a rush? No, but I’m walking with a purpose.
• What does TSA see? like can they really see that I packed my earrings inside my sunglasses case? what do they know?
• Why did I one time have to sacrifice my candle? Or my precious stick I carried through Acadia National Park? I’ve cried over the things TSA has taken from me. Also, what do they do with the stuff? Are they like who wants this? And it’s just a free for all or do they donate it? I have so many questions.
• Do y’all have wives and husbands? because I am too afraid to get anywhere near a TSA agent because I don’t know what power they hold and to me, they are up veryyy high in the government and could ruin my life. That’s definitely me just overthinking the circumstances, but boy am I afraid.
• Why is someone always trying to sell me a credit card in the airport?
• Why why why would they ever put the coffee/bagel place before security? Obviously I can get Starbucks but I don’t really care about the coffee I care about getting a good bagel.
• Speaking of why does Starbucks get away with these ridiculous airport prices?
• Why am I always convinced I need a million napkins? I never end up using them.
• When checking a bag what happens if I lie? Do I have a lithium battery? No, but I do have a pair of scissors and my medicine. I just lied to the lady that checked my bag because what would’ve happened if I admitted it? Would she have refused to check my bag? Sorry but I am not equipped to deal with the possible implications of this.
• How dare you make me pay $8 for a small bag of gummy worms? I normally come prepared with snacks, but sometimes I forget and $8 for a small bag of gummy worms is criminal. Why doesn’t one business just start selling snacks at reasonable prices? Everyone would go there and they’d end up making so much money.
• Why do I always wear a groufit to the airport? (spoiler alert: I didn’t wear a groufit today)
• Who is on aux? Because Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield is currently playing. I never thought I would be sitting at my gate with a banger like this on. OMG now Float On by Modest Mouse is playing. Yes these songs are stereotypically good, but at the airport it brings people together and I love that.
• Can I please, please, please go throw away my trash without worrying about looking suspicious for leaving my bag even if it’s for a 3-second trip to the trash can?
• Why do men sit near me at the airport? Know ur place, and it’s very far away from me. I’m a young who is sitting alone there’s no need for a full grown 50 something year old man to be near me.
• Why do people take their shoes off?
• How am I always sitting in a seat where the nearby outlet doesn’t work?
• Is anyone ever calm at the airport? Even if I’m hours early to the airport I’m extremely anxious.
• Why am I always convinced I’m going to see someone I know?
• Why do I always see someone I know?
• Why can I never get in a comfortable position unless I am sitting next to the window?

Well, that’s all for now. I’ve got two hours until my flight takes off so I’ll definitely have more questions.

Okay, I’m back with one more question. Do I ask someone to watch my bag real quick while I run to the bathroom or do I pee my pants? I might just pee my pants.