Every day my anxiety humbles me.

Yesterday, I woke up late for class by accident and then remembered we were going in late, so I decided I would actually get ready. I did my usual routine: I opened up TikTok, searched Taylor Swift surprise songs, and got ready for my day. I always turn this stuff on right before I start doing my hair and then get frustrated because I can’t hear it that well, so I usually end up leaving my hair half-wet—oops.

I rolled into class and was worried it would be awkward because I was late. I got there at 10:52 AM and we were supposed to be there at 11:00 AM. In my eyes, I was late. But I actually got there before my teacher.

Fast forward to the next day. I wake up early-ish, but not really (because I thought we were starting at 11:00 again). I put on my Taylor Swift surprise songs and start doing my hair, and all of a sudden it’s 10:10 AM—and I was actually supposed to be there at 10:00, not 11:00. I had just put on my Benetint and was about to curl my lashes, so I tried to make peace with being late. I was already late. What’s the harm?

I tried to tell myself that, but I was itching with anxiety. I rushed out the door knowing I was late, but at least it was a project work day. I get in my car and, about two green lights into my drive, I realize I forgot my earbuds. Ughhhhhhhh. I really contemplate turning around, but that seems like a waste of time. But then… being alone with my thoughts? No, that drew the line.

I hurry to stop at the school store before class because they’ve gotta have headphones, right? They did… for $6, which seemed absurd to me, but then again, I haven’t bought earphones pretty much ever because I always snatch a pair on a Delta flight. So, I buy them. After some extreme power-walking to class, I roll in just as Beyoncé’s “Hold Up” is playing. I imagine Titus Andromedon singing, “Hell no, I ain’t playing with you, Michael. Uh-uh, I’m not fooling with you, Michael,” and I realize it was never that serious. Yet again humbled by my anxiety.

* Later I went to the bathroom and saw the blue sticky note was moved to the mirror! And it had grown! So much kindness all around!