Every day my anxiety humbles me.

Yesterday I woke up late for class on accident and then remembered we were going in late so I decided I would actually get ready. I did my usual getting ready thing. I opened up TikTok, searched Taylor Swift surprise songs, and got ready for my day. When I always turn this stuff on right before I start doing my hair and then get frustrated because I can’t hear it that well so I usually end up leaving my hair half-wet oops. I rolled into class and was worried it would be awkward bc I was late. I was there at 10:52 am and was supposed to be 11am. In my eyes I was late. I got there before my teacher.

Fast forward to the next day. I wake up earlyish but not (because I thought we were starting at 11 again). I put on my Taylor Swift surprise songs and start doing my hair and all of a sudden it’s 10:10am and I was actually supposed to be there at 10, not 11. I just put on my Benetint and was about to curl my lashes so I tried to make peace with being late. I was already late. What’s the harm? I tried to tell myself that but I was itching with anxiety. I rushed out the door knowing I was late, but at least it was a project work day. I get in my car and about two green lights into my drive I realize I forgot my earbuds. ughhhhhhhh. I really contemplate turning around, but that seems like a waste of time, but I’m going to be alone with my thoughts… No that drew the line. I hurry to stop at the school store before class because they’ve gotta have headphones right? They did… for $6 which seemed absurd to me but then again I haven’t bought earphones pretty much ever because I always snatch a pair on a Delta flight. So I buy them. Extreme powerwalking to class and I roll in and Beyoncés “Hold Up”. I imagine Titus Andromedon singing “Hell no, I ain’t playing with you, Michael. Uh-uh, I’m not fooling with you, Michael, and I realize it was never that serious. Yet again humbled by my anxiety.

* Later I went to the bathroom and saw the blue sticky note was moved to the mirror! And it had grown! So much kindness all around!