So for the past two weeks, I’ve been shaking with anxiety and barely sleeping. I haven’t felt my best, and I definitely haven’t looked my best. My hair is wild—crazy, chaotic curls—so it’s always a struggle to get it looking decent, but lately, it’s been extra horrible.

Today, I finally figured out why.

Thanks to my half-functioning brain, I’ve been putting acne cream—yes, acne cream—in my hair for weeks, thinking it was leave-in conditioner.

If that doesn’t tell you where my head’s at, I don’t know what will.

This is a cry for help.

However, sometimes a cry for help leads to genuine genius.

I came up with an idea for an app that every curly-headed girl has dreamed of. It’s an app where you can upload a picture of yourself, and it identifies your curl pattern. Right now, there are a few websites that try to help with this, but I’m never fully convinced by the results. I feel like my curl pattern doesn’t fit neatly into the chart.

People have told me I have Lorde’s hair—which is an amazing compliment, and honestly, it made me fall in love with my curls again. So I think my curl pattern is 2C, but I’m still not sure.

This app would not only identify your hair type and curl pattern, but it would also give you personalized product suggestions based on your specific hair concerns. And… wait for it… this is the best part: it would tell you how the weather and humidity are going to affect your hair, so you can actually plan for it.

For example, the other night was portfolio night. I decided to straighten my hair—maybe it’s just that deep-rooted curly-haired self-consciousness, but I sometimes feel like when my hair is natural, I look “untamed” or “unprofessional.” Which sucks, because I’ve finally started to love my curls again.

And I shouldn’t have straightened it. The second I stepped outside, it was ruined. My hair frizzed up immediately as my curls fought their way back to life—taking my straightened hair down with them.

I’m not sure what shifted in the air when I got to middle school, but suddenly, my hair straightener became my best friend. I wouldn’t be caught dead wearing my hair naturally. Maybe it was the compliments—maybe they made me feel good about myself—but looking back, it was all kind of a façade. I was envious of my friends with naturally straight hair. They didn’t know how lucky they were.

It took a really long time for me to unlearn this, and for my hair to recover from the heat damage. That’s the other thing about curly hair, now I rarely use heat on my hair, but my hair still appears damaged. It’s the frizz, split ends, and poofiness of it all.

My hair is unpredictable which is cool, but also sometimes I wish I could just wake up with the same hair everyday like some of my other friends.

It took a really long time for me to unlearn all of that—and for my hair to recover from the heat damage. That’s the other thing about curly hair: even now, when I rarely use heat, my hair still looks damaged. It’s the frizz, the split ends, the poofiness of it all. Just yesterday, my hairbrush snapped in half because my curls were acting naughty. My hair is unpredictable—which is kind of cool—but sometimes, I really do wish I could just wake up with the same hair every day, like some of my friends do.