Ok, don’t get me wrong, I have scrolled for hours on end and probably all of that time could be a year in my life? Brainrot has taken over. I’ve realized. I stopped being on TikTok as much because everything became TikTok shop and my for you page was kind of lacking, so I didn’t really care about the fate of the app. When everyone was freaking out about the potential TikTok ban, I was purely not interested. There have been many threats and instances of the idea, but never any follow through. When it actually did get banned I was shocked.

On January 18th at around 11am, I got a new phone. So when all of my apps transferred TikTok was there just as usual. I was surprised. I went about my day dilly dallying at the Aquarium with my dad and grandma, so I was off my phone for a long time. I opened my phone to see that TikTok had been banned. I was mega shocked. My new phone had it on January 18th, I thought that was enough proof that the ban wasn’t happening. I thought to myself, “Oh well, that was fun while it lasted” and immediately deleted the app. The way people were posting on Instagram made it seem like everyone’s grandma died. So many memorials, so many long texts of appreciation, and some asking for continuous support as they transition to YouTube. I thought this was bonkers. I know it’s sad, and people had businesses that were lost but guys like c’mon.

I can definitely say that I was gagged when the ban only lasted a few hours. It was the biggest SIKEEE ever. Because I had already made peace with TikTok being gone, so I didn’t run to re-download it. Little did I know, I couldn’t. I kept catching myself trying to find TikTok on my phone or just having moments where I needed to scroll and avoid my thoughts. I stayed strong. I started reading my book when I wanted to scroll, but now I have finished my book, so that’s an issue. However, I have persevered, I have gotten a lot of sleep and been pretty productive. I do miss my time when my brain is just off and consuming content at an extreme pace. I haven’t even opened Instagram Reels, because I am trying super hard to not fall down that rabbit hole either. People have said it’s less addictive, and I’m sure it is, but I have gained so much time. I feel annoying. Because a part of me is one of those annoying superiority complex bitches because I am proud of myself for doing the hard thing, but I also have no choice. Yesterday while on the phone with my mom, she graciously reminded me I can’t redownload it anyway even if I wanted to. So now it’s been 7 days, a whole week, and I still think about it daily. I’m already having FOMO for the new memes and cultural references that arise on TikTok. Hopefully, I will find a new good book, and get over this. As a wise woman once said, just because you’re clean, don’t mean you don’t miss it.

*Side note, I downloaded one of those sober apps, just out of curiosity and to see how long it’s been, as some sort of motivational factor. While searching for this on the App Store. I found many, many, apps for NNN. This is insanity. This is hilarious. This is 2025.

*Another side note, I hate the new Instagram update. They are trying to TikTokify the app. Please don’t.